


Secrets

by ravenangel



Series: Coming Home [1]
Category: Poldark (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-08-15 11:28:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8054545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenangel/pseuds/ravenangel
Summary: Ross has a secret that Demelza wasn't aware of.





	1. Surprise

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing. No harm or profit intended. I'm just looking to borrow everyone a while.

 

Chapter 1 Surprise

Sometimes secrets are good and sometimes they aren't. To say that this particular secret wasn't good would be an understatement, however, dealing with it would have to wait until the current crisis was dealt with.

Demelza, Ross, and Verity had just walked in the door to Ross's apartment and were taking off their coats when Ross collapsed in a heap on the floor, within  seconds he was shaking violently.

"Oh my god! Ross!?" Demelza yelled as she dropped to her knees next to him.

Verity knelt next to her while she tried to roll Ross on his side as he continued seizing. "Demelza I need you to help me keep him on his side."

Demelza watched Ross shake with wide eyes as she put her hands where Verity told her to. "Verity we need to call an ambulance."

As Ross stilled under their hands Verity sighed, "he was seizing less than 5 minutes we don't need to worry about taking him in unless he has another one right away." She paused leaning over Ross and running gentle fingers through his hair before murmuring. "It's ok Ross. You just had a seizure, but you're ok."

Ross was still beneath their hands, eyes slit open, breathing shallowly. Demelza looked shocked from Ross to Verity and back, "he's had this happen before?!"

Verity gave Demelza a concerned look, "he was diagnosed as an epileptic after the head injury that scarred him. It's what ended his military career. Did he not say anything about the epilepsy?"

Demelza was gently rubbing circles against Ross's hip, "no he mentioned the injury, but never said anything about this. We've been together three months and I've never seen him have a seizure." She stopped, "why wouldn't he say something?"

Verity gave Ross's still form an annoyed look, "he hates telling people about it. He doesn't want them to pity him or treat him any different. He still should have said something to you. He hasn't had an episode in almost two years; as long as he takes his meds, gets enough rest and doesn't get sick he rarely has one."

Demelza gave Ross a worried glance, "he thought he might be coming down with something. He said he wasn't feeling well last night."

Ross tensed a little under their hands and started to move lethargically. He coughed as his eyes opened sluggishly. Verity stroked his cheek gently, "hey Ross it's ok, just relax Love."

"Vrty?" Ross looked around disoriented his eyes not quite focusing or tracking normally.

"Shh. It's ok Ross. You had a seizure, but you're ok, just rest." Verity soothed as she stroked his hair. "Demelza can you grab the blanket off the couch?" She asked as Ross shivered slightly under her hands.

Ross tried to track Demelza as she quickly grabbed the blanket and draped it over him. He reached a shaky hand toward her as he mumbled. "Dmlza I'm srry"

She took his hand gently rubbing her thumb against the back of his hand, "hey, it's ok. We're going to need to talk, but it's ok. Just relax."

Ross's eyes slid shut for a moment before he started coughing. Verity rolled him forward toward her as a little bit of blood trickled out the corner of his mouth. She wiped it away and then carefully checked his mouth to see where the blood was coming from. She noticed he bit his tongue, but not bad enough to need stitches. Ross was watching her with unfocused eyes as he fought to stay awake. Demelza watched as Verity skillfully took care of Ross, wishing he had told her about this so she would know what to do to take care of him. His hand spasmed in hers before his body tensed.

"Demelza let go of his hand. He'll be upset if he hurts you. Grab your cell and call for the ambulance." Verity directed. "Let them know he's having seizures."

Ross didn't shake this time his body got very tense. Demelza thought it looked like a full body Charley horse. Verity removed the blanket just to make sure he wouldn't get tangled in it. Demelza watched as Verity kept speaking quiet reassurances to Ross while she kept checking the clock. Ross's body relaxed as a heavy knock on the door echoed through the room. Demelza hopped up and answered the door, as she led the paramedics to Ross and Verity he began shaking again.

The medics descended on Ross and got to work. "How long has he been seizing?"

"He had a tonic-clonic 10 minutes ago that lasted 3 minutes, a tonic seizure that lasted 2 minutes, and went right into this tonic-clonic 30 seconds ago." Verity answered. "I don't know when his last dose of meds was, but Demelza said he wasn't feeling well yesterday."

"Don't worry Verity we'll take good care of Ross." Andrew replied as he started an IV and dispensed a round of anti-convulsants.

His partner was readying the gurney and setting up an oxygen mask. As Ross stilled Andrew took his vitals and began hooking him up to monitors. "Ross your oxygen sats are a little low I'm going to put an oxygen mask on you to help you out." Andrew said before placing the mask over Ross's face.

Ross tried to turn his head away from the mask but Andrew held it firmly in place. Once Ross stilled again Andrew used his pen light to check Ross's pupil response making sure to hold him steady as he was usually agitated following a seizure. "Ok Mike I'm ready to move him on three." Andrew counted down as they gently transferred Ross to the gurney. Once he was secured Andrew addressed Verity and Demelza. "We're taking him to over to General is one of you coming with?"

Verity shook her head, "no we'll meet you there."

Andrew and Mike nodded before making quick work of carrying Ross out, loading him in the ambulance and heading off towards the hospital with Verity and Demelza right behind them.

....

Demelza watched the street move past silently as Verity drove them to the hospital. Verity reached over and gave Demelza's hand a squeeze. Demelza shook herself out of her shocked haze. "The paramedics knew both of you." She stated quietly.

Verity sighed softly, "it was a rough 6 months after Ross was released from the hospital. They hadn't found the right medication combination yet and he was having at least one seizure a day oftentimes more. I was actually living with him because it wasn't safe to leave him alone." Verity paused, "he had six status seizures in a month and he had to be admitted each time. Andrew and Mike responded to at least 10 calls like that here over the course of six months. We got to know them pretty well during that year."

Demelza looked at Verity, "what's a status seizure?"

"It's any seizure that lasts longer than 5 minutes, but there is also a type that is called cluster seizures which is multiple seizures back to back where the patient doesn't recover in between seizures." Verity replied, "my lovely cousin who never does things halfway is prone to both types."

Demelza huffed a laugh, "no he doesn't do things halfway. Verity how serious was his head injury? He always made it seem like nothing, but this doesn't look like nothing."

Verity took a deep breath, "it wasn't good. He had bleeding and swelling in his brain. He had surgery to stop the bleeding and relieve the pressure. He was in a coma for almost a month. We almost lost him a few times. Once he woke from the coma he went through intensive therapy to help him recover, a few weeks before he was discharged the seizures started. " Verity paused and swallowed thickly, "when they released him I moved in to help take care of him. He needed someone who could be there and by that time Elizabeth had moved on to my brother. She couldn't deal with his injuries and then the epilepsy... She needed someone who could take care of her and he couldn't really take care of himself at that point let alone her."

Demelza squeezed Verity's hand, " he does know I'm not her right? I love him and I could never leave him alone. I wish he would have trusted me with this."

Verity squeezed back, "he knows you're not her, but she cut him to the bone and he loves you so much it scares him. He doesn't trust easily and her betrayal only made that worse. I believe he would have trusted you with this sooner rather than later but today just took that opportunity out of his hands."

Demelza gave her a sad smile as Verity parked the car. "He scared me so badly today. I just want him to be ok. I don't care about the seizures other than I want him safe. I love him more than I ever dreamed possible, but I need him to trust me and trust that I'm not going anywhere."

Verity smiled, "I know you love him and would never hurt him. He knows it too but he always has to do things on his own terms. I just wish he would have told you sooner."

They got out of the car and headed to the emergency room entrance. Verity walked over to the administration desk. "Hi I'm looking for information on Ross Poldark."

The administrator smiled, "and you are?"

"Verity Poldark, his cousin, emergency contact, and power of attorney." Verity replied.

"He was just brought I'm a few minutes ago the doctor is in with him. I will let them know to come talk to you once Ross is settled and can have people in with him." The administrator answered.

Verity nodded before returning to where Demelza was sitting. They waited silently lost in their own thoughts before a doctor called, "family for Ross Poldark?"

Verity and Demelza hopped up and walked over to him, "Dr. Enys how's he doing?" Verity inquired.

"He's drowsy and a little agitated. I sent him down for a chest x-ray, his lungs sounded a little rough and he's spiked a fever, it's holding at 103. We should know more once his blood work and x-rays come back." Dr Enys paused noticing Demelza, "so Verity who's this?"

Verity smiled, "Demelza Carne this is Dr Dwight Enys, Dwight this is Demelza she's Ross's girlfriend."

Dwight shook Demelza's hand, "pleasure to meet you. So I'm going to take you back to his cubicle where you both can wait with him for the results."

Verity gave him a tired smile, "are you admitting him?"

Dr Enys sighed, " yes I am planning on admitting him at least overnight to make sure his seizure activity doesn't flair up again. Once they have a room ready we'll transfer him."

Verity snorted, "are you prepared for him to argue with you?"

Dr. Enys smiled, "Verity I've been wrangling Ross since our school days. I can handle him and honestly with the medication he's on right now I don't see him putting up much of a fight." Dr. Enys paused in front of the curtain as he said quietly, "knock, knock. Ross you have company."

Dr. Enys pulled the curtain back and led both women in. "Alright I'll be back in a bit, hopefully with some answers if he needs anything hit the call button."

Ross was propped up in bed, oxygen mask still in place. He was in a hospital gown and appeared to be sleeping. Demelza hesitated at the foot of his bed just looking at him before she moved up closer to the head of the bed across from Verity. She listened to the beep of the heart monitor and his shallow wheezing breaths. Demelza gently took his hand being careful to not disturb his IV.

"Oh Ross what am I going to do with you?" Demelza whispered.

Ross's fingers twitched lightly in her hand before he tensed and started to move around restlessly. Demelza gripped his hand and ran gentle fingers through his sweaty, tangled curls, "shhh shhh Ross, it's ok. You're safe." Demelza murmured.

Ross startled awake gasping for breath, his eyes rolled wildly but not registering anything. Verity gripped his other hand hard trying to break through his disorientation. "Ross! Look at me.  Love you're in the hospital. You are safe. You've had three seizures today. I know you're scared and confused, but you are safe." She stroked his cheek as she held his head still, "Ross, it's Verity breathe with me."

Ross was disoriented and confused as he continued to struggle. Demelza squeezed his hand, "Ross, stop fighting. We're here with you."

She started to hum an old lullaby and soon Ross settled down as awareness started to seep in. After a few minutes he was watching her sleepily. She smiled as she saw him watching her. Demelza softly stroked his cheek, "hey, there you are. Are you ok?"

He slowly licked his lips and blinked sluggishly before he tried to take the oxygen mask off. Verity held his arm down, "leave the mask alone. You need the help right now."

"Mm, srry Demelza." Ross turned fever bright eyes toward Demelza and mumbled. "Dint want you to fin out this way."

She gave him a tired smile, "hush Love, don't worry about that right now. You're ok and that's all that matters to me." She leaned over and kissed his forehead, "just rest we can deal with everything else later."

Verity smiled as she watched Demelza calm her cousin down.  She was so happy he found a good match in Demelza even if he wasn't quite sure yet.  She loved seeing him relax and trusting Demelza that everything was ok. She watched her continue to soothe Ross until he started to drift back to sleep. 

Ross was sleeping holding onto both Verity and Demelza's hands when Dr. Enys came to check in on them and relay test results. Verity smiled at him, " so what's the verdict?"

Dwight shook his head fondly, "well he sure holds true to form. He has pneumonia in both lungs so he's going to be staying with us a few days while we start him on IV antibiotics.  Also I want to keep an eye on his seizure activity while his fever is so high. We're going to transfer him up to a room in a few minutes you can go with him but you'll have to wait outside until we have him settled."

Verity nodded, "even though it's been awhile I remember the routine."

Dwight smiled, " I suppose you would. Are your brother and his wife going to make an appearance?"

Verity grimaced, "I haven't called him yet and with Ross needing rest I think I'm going to hold off a few days before enlightening my dear brother and his wife. Ross doesn't need the stress."

Dr. Enys tried to suppress a smile and nodded, "ok. Well I will stop up to check on him before I get off shift. If you need anything let the nurses know."

After Dr Enys left the nurses and orderlies transferred Ross to his room.

Ross slept fitfully most of the evening Demelza or Verity calming him when he would get restless. There was a quiet knock on Ross's door before it opened. Verity smiled as she saw Andrew standing in the doorway. She waved him over, but put her finger to her lips reminding him to be quiet as Ross was sleeping and so was Demelza with her head rested against Ross's arm his hand still held in hers. He smiled and walked quietly over giving Verity a gentle kiss. "How's he doing?" Andrew whispered.

"Pneumonia in both lungs, he had another seizure an hour ago, but it was mild compared to his first three. He's been resting in fits and starts, at least until Demelza lay her head against his arm." She paused and smiled fondly at them. "He's been quiet since then."

 "I'm guessing you're staying here tonight." Andrew stated.

She leaned her head against his hip, "I don't want to leave them. She had no idea about his epilepsy until he had a seizure right in front of her tonight. I want to make sure they both have the support they need."

Andrew kissed the top of her head, "it's ok I was expecting you to want to stay. I just wanted to check in with you before heading home. Do you want or need anything?"

She shook her head, "no I'm fine. What I want no one can give me. Thank you for being so understanding."

He tilted her chin up to make her look at him. "I know you just want him healthy and if I could give you that I would. As for being understanding I'd stay with you if I wasn't going to be working the early shift tomorrow." Andrew kissed her again, "Verity he's your cousin and your best friend there's nothing to understand. You need to be here and I love you all the more for that.  Tell me you haven't called Francis yet."

Verity let out a quiet snort, "no he and Ross have enough issues and this is neither the time nor the place for any of it. Not to mention Ross needs rest and Francis and Elizabeth hanging around out of familial obligation won't help anyone."

Andrew smiled into her hair, "agreed."

"I also don't want to stress Demelza any more than she is, and dealing with my brother and his wife, whom she's never met will inevitably be stressful.  She'll be trying to protect him and he'll be trying to protect her..." Verity trailed off.

"God knows your brother is an expert at putting his foot in it." Andrew gave her shoulder a squeeze, "I don't want to bail you out of jail for beating your brother when he fails to realize yet again that contrary to his ego the world does not, in fact, revolve around him."

Verity smiled and squeezed his hand, "my hero. The only way that could be worse is if you were here too.  Then he'd try to fight you again." She watched Ross and Demelza sleep for a moment, "I just don't want this to be any harder on them than it has to be.  God they make each other so happy I don't want anyone to compromise that."

Ross blinked sleepily, before he whispered "thank you for understanding Ver."

She turned and gave him a bright smile, "always Love. How are you feeling?"

"Sore, little thirsty." He rasped. "Hey Andrew. Been awhile."

Verity placed the straw to his lips so he could have a drink.  She was glad they switched him from the mask to the nasal cannula. "Small sips." Verity reminded him quietly.

Andrew smiled, "yeah it's been awhile since I've seen you professionally or otherwise. We're going to have to get together when you're feeling better so we can catch up and I can finally get to meet your girlfriend properly."

Ross smiled and nodded as he drifted back to sleep. Andrew gave Verity a kiss, "I'm heading home call if you need anything. I love you."

Verity nodded, "I will. I love you too."

 After Andrew left Demelza blinked sleepily and whispered, "so that's the Andrew you're so attached to."

Verity smiled, cheeks turning slightly pink. "Yeah, I knew him before Ross got hurt, but we lost touch.  Ross always said that Andrew coming back into my life was the best thing to come out of this situation."

Demelza grinned, "he makes you happy. I'm glad you have him. It sounds like he doesn't like your brother much."

Verity snorted, "yeah that would be an understatement, more on Francis's part than Andrew's. My brother has always felt Andrew wasn't good enough for me, just because he's never been wealthy or moved in the same circles as our family. I've never cared about the money or the status." Verity sighed, "we were seeing each other secretly before Ross was deployed and when Francis found out he freaked out and got into a fist fight with Andrew. The last thing Ross did before he shipped out was break up that fight." She huffed a quiet chuckle, "I don't think I've forgiven Francis for driving Andrew away that first time.  Once everything happened with Ross and I reconnected with Andrew I couldn't give him up again." She smiled wistfully at her cousin, "Ross wouldn't let me either.  He gave us a safe place to be together and refused to allow the rest of the family to get in the way.  It's part of the reason we don't spend much time with the others, well that and the fact that my idiot brother and Elizabeth hurt him by sneaking around."

Verity looked up to see Ross and Demelza looking at her. Ross coughed, "you of all our family deserve to be happy Verity, and after everything you've done for me there isn't anything I wouldn't do to ensure your happiness. I'm not blind you and Andrew love each other so much, and you are so good for each other.  The rest of the family can rot and high society with them if they can't see how good you are together."

Verity squeezed Ross's hand, "I feel the same way when it comes to you and Demelza."

 There was a quiet knock before the door opened and Dr. Enys walked in. "Hi, just checking in before I get off shift."

Ross gave a half-smile, "how long are you holding me prisoner?"

Dr Enys laughed, "it depends on you and how well you respond to the antibiotics.  I also want to make sure your seizure activity stays in check."

Ross rasped, " so at least tonight."

Dwight arched an eyebrow, "I can assure you I won't be releasing you for at least 48 hours and that's assuming you don't hold true to form and get worse before you get better."

Ross rolled his eyes and said dryly, "your confidence in me is overwhelming." 

Ross doubled over coughing. Dr Enys moved to the head of the bed as Ross continued coughing turning red as he struggled to breathe. Dr Enys grabbed the emesis basin holding it in front of Ross as he gagged. Dr Enys glanced at the monitor as the pulse ox blipped notifying him that Ross oxygen sats had dropped to 80%. Ross continued to struggle to take a deep breath without coughing. Dr Enys changed the nasal cannula out for an oxygen mask holding it in place as Ross fought to breathe. One of the nurses came in ready to do the nebulizer treatment that had been ordered.  She sped up her set up as Dr Enys helped Ross lay back against his pillow and calm his breathing.

Once the nebulizer treatment was set up Dr Enys took the mask and replaced the oxygen mask. "Ok Ross slow deep breaths. This will help the coughing." Ross gripped Demelza's hand as he attempted to do as Dr Enys asked.

He had another coughing fit halfway through treatment, but once the treatment was finished and the oxygen mask replaced his sats had rebounded to 90%. Dwight still wasn't happy about it, but it was better than the 80%, any lower and Ross would have to be intubated, which he wanted to avoid. Dr. Enys looked at all of them Ross was panting even with the supplemental oxygen, Verity looked resigned, and Demelza looked scared.

"Ross I need you to try and take slow deep breaths. In...Out..." Dwight counted off a three count as Ross attempted to match him. 

Everytime he tried to breathe deeply he doubled over coughing violently his sats dropping as he struggled to catch his breath. Dr. Enys kept a close eye on Ross's sat levels. Ross was still holding above 80%, but he was getting exhausted and his numbers weren't rebounding as well in between coughing fits.

Verity watched Dr. Enys check him over and she could tell he wasn't happy. "Dr. Enys what can we do to help him?"

Dwight looked at Ross and then Verity, "I'm going to recommend intubation.  He's exhausting himself and his numbers aren't coming back up.  He needs a break and the antibiotics need a chance to work."

Demelza looked at Ross watching him struggle to breathe and looking more exhausted by the minute. She squeezed his hand and brushed his hair out of his eyes. "What does this mean exactly?"

Dr. Enys turned to Demelza, "we will ask you and Verity to step out for about a half hour. We will give him medications to sedate him and temporarily paralyse him to prevent vomiting.  Once he his medicated we will insert a tube down his throat and put him on the ventilator so his body doesn't have to fight so hard and he can rest. While he's unconscious we are also going to put in an NG-tube which will go in his nose down to his stomach.  This will allow us to feed him while he's on the ventilator."

Demelza nodded, "how long will you sedate him?"

Dwight smiled, "he'll be sedated long enough to place the tubes, from there we will keep him lightly sedated.  He will be able to wake up but we want to keep him calm and allow him to rest as much as possible."

"How long do you think he'll need to be on the ventilator?" Demelza inquired.

"It depends on how he reacts to the antibiotics and how quickly his lungs can take over without the assistance. I'm hopeful it will only be a few days." Dwight answered.

Demelza and Verity looked at Ross and then each other both women agreed silently that this was his best option.  Verity looked at Dr. Enys, "ok go ahead and do it.  I'll take Demelza to get something to eat and drink while you get him taken care of."

Dr. Enys nodded before he went to put in the orders to get the equipment he would need.

Verity moved up to the head of the bed opposite Demelza and took Ross's other hand. She started to run her fingers through his hair gently scratching his scalp.  Ross turned exhausted, nervous eyes toward her.

She smiled as she said softly, "hey Love, we've been here before. You're going to be ok you just need some extra help right now. They're going to make us step out before they put you under, but we'll be back before you wake up.  I promise you won't be alone any longer than is necessary and even then Dwight is going to be taking care of you."

Ross gave her a weak smile before he looked to Demelza. She gave him the most confident smile she could. "You will be ok my love.  We will be here when you wake up." She kissed his forehead, "we won't leave you.  Just try to relax and let Dr. Enys help you."

Ross squeezed Demelza's hand and panted, "I love you.  I'm sorry I didn't..."

She shook her head, "I love you too, so much. Stop worrying about keeping this from me. I think I understand why you did, but it's really not important right now." She kissed his forehead again, "I love you and all I want you to do right now is rest and focus on getting better everything else can wait."

Ross nodded as Dr Enys came in with a couple nurses and a cart with his supplies, "ok ladies we need you to step out for a little while. Ross when you wake up you'll have a tube in your throat, but your favorite ladies will be back with you."

Demelza and Verity walked quietly towards the cafeteria. Verity wrapped a comforting arm around Demelza, "it's going to be ok. He's strong."

Demelza gave Verity a small smile, "I keep reminding myself he's a fighter and he won't quit."

They picked out their meals and grabbed drinks before sitting at a table in the corner out of the way.  Both women ate quietly just enjoying each others company lost in their own thoughts. Demelza startled when someone cleared their throat.

"Verity it's strange running into you here.  Who's your friend?" George inquired an oily quality to his tone.

Verity schooled her face before looking up, "Hello George. Demelza this is my brother's best friend George.  We're here visiting a mutual friend."

"Would I know this friend?" George all but purred.

"No one you associate with. If you'll excuse us we need to be getting back." Verity replied cooly.

Demelza and Verity picked up their trays and left George in their wake.

Once they were away from George Verity released an exasperated breath. "Damn it."

Demelza looked at her questioningly, "What's wrong?"

Verity closed her eyes taking a deep breath, "George is Francis's best friend.  He also likes to cause trouble.  I was hoping to keep any possible issue off Francis's radar until Ross was feeling better. Now that smarmy worm is going to go running back to my dear brother and tell him he saw me here.  He's going to start trouble because that is what he does. Francis will assume I'm consorting with people he deems unacceptable and this will cause him to feel the need to weigh in on my life.  Again."  Verity took another steadying breath, "then the ridiculous prat will find out Ross is sick and want to weigh in on that and I just don't have it in me today to put up with his shit."

Demelza raised an amused eyebrow and gave a small chuckle. "Well Ver tell me how you really feel."

Verity blushed, "sorry I just don't want to have to field this idiotic family bs that I removed myself from after Ross was wounded.  I just want them to leave us in peace.  They made it clear even back then that if I stayed and did what I wanted that was it, but they just won't leave well enough alone.  Ross is the only family I have that I actually want to see and who actually gives a shit about what I want and need."  Verity sighed, "I just want to sit with you and take care of Ross.  I want to go home to Andrew and live the life that makes me happy.  Is that too much to ask?"

Demelza squeezed Verity's hand, "no it's not. I haven't met them, but if your brother looks at me the way his friend did I think I could live without meeting him.  If he stresses Ross out or risks his health in anyway I will not be responsible for my actions."

Verity smiled, "well we're in agreement, but no going to jail."

Demelza smiled back, "let's get back to Ross before we see anyone else you don't want to."

Dr. Enys gave them a tired smile when the door opened.  He waved them over. "He handled everything well and is resting easily."

Verity and Demelza took up their seats next to Ross each taking a hand. Demelza looked at Ross taking in the new equipment.  She wasn't comfortable with the breathing tube coming out of his slack mouth, but he did seem to be resting better so she would swallow her fear and take comfort he was getting what he needed.

Verity looked at Dr. Enys, "Dwight I saw George in the cafeteria.  I can't promise word won't get back to Francis."

Dwight nodded, "it was bound to happen.  Ok well if you need visiting restrictions put in place let me know I'll make it happen.  You're his POA so you get final say while he is unable to speak for himself."

Verity looked resigned, "thanks Dwight, I'll let you know if we need to take that step."

"Alright ladies I'm going to head out.  I work the early shift tomorrow.  Dr. Marlowe is the doctor on the ICU tonight so you may see him on rounds."

Verity and Demelza smiled at him as they each gave their thanks and wishes for a good night.

They settled in for a long night quietly listening to the beep of the monitors and the hiss of the ventilator. Ross slept quietly for a few hours before he started to move around restlessly, Verity squeezed his hand while Demelza stroked his cheek carefully avoiding the tape holding the breathing tube in place.

"Shhh Ross it's ok. Can you open your eyes for me Love?" Demelza spoke softly.

Ross leaned his cheek into Demelza's hand as his eyes blinked open sluggishly. She smiled fondly as she rubbed her thumb against his cheek, "hey, there you are.  Dr. Enys said you handled everything well."  She kissed his forehead, "now you just need to rest and heal."

Ross made a writing motion against Verity's hand. She smiled as she pulled out a small note pad and pen from her bag. She put the pen in his hand and held the pad still so he could see it easily and write.  _What time is it?_

Verity brushed a lock of his hair out of his eyes, "it's late, 12:30."

Ross frowned slightly around the tube.  _You both need to sleep._

Verity smiled tiredly, "we've been dozing off and on. Don't worry Love we'll sleep soon enough."

Ross's eyes drooped with fatigue she took the pen out of his unresisting hand and kissed his forehead.  "don't worry about us. Just rest we'll see you in the morning."

Demelza rested her head on the bed leaning against  Ross's arm his hand still cradled in hers.  She watched tiredly as Ross lost his fight against Morpheus, sleep claimed them both in short order.  Verity smiled as she watched them sleep knowing it would not find her anytime soon.  


	2. Frustration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes family is frustrating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm blown away by everyone's responses to this story. Thank you for the positive feedback.

Chapter 2: Frustration

The night and morning had been quiet.  Ross was in and out, but he was relaxed when he was awake.  Verity and Demelza kept rotating through getting food and drinks while at least one of them stayed with Ross.  Dr. Enys was pleased with Ross's numbers on the various monitors as well as the fact he had only one seizure during the overnight when his fever spiked. Demelza watched as Dr. Enys checked Ross over. "How are you doing Demelza?"

She looked startled by the acknowledgement, "I'm ok. I feel a little helpless watching him and knowing I can't make it better."

Dwight smiled at her, "you are helping more than you know. Ross is not usually this well behaved when he's hospitalized." He paused watching Ross sleep. "I was going to have the nurses take care of this, but if you want would you like to help me move him on his side?"

Demelza looked thoughtful, "why are we moving him? It won't hurt him will it?"

Dwight shook his head, "no it won't. The change of position is good for him.  If someone stays in one place for too long they can start to develop pressure sores and painful spots. The changing of position regularly can also help with his breathing as well as assisting his lungs in draining."

She nodded, "yes if I can help him I want to."

Demelza reached out and ran her fingers through his hair.  She kissed the back of his hand, "are you going to be ok if we move you around?"

Ross squeezed her hand and blinked sleepily. Dwight smiled, "Ross we're going to get you on your side and off your back for a bit.  I just need you to stay relaxed and let us do the work for you."

Ross gave Dwight a slight nod before shifting his focus back to Demelza.  Dwight grabbed the pillows and set them on the bed. "The first thing I'm going to do is pull the blankets down and start to move him into the recovery position.  Demelza move his left arm toward you. I'll bend his leg slightly.  Alright Ross I'm going to roll you over." Dwight paused as he moved Ross carefully onto his side. "Demelza take two pillows and place them along his back and then hand me one so I can put it in front of him." Demelza placed the pillows behind him and Dwight eased him against them before placing another one in front of him and resting  his right arm on it.  He placed the final pillow between Ross's knees to keep the stress off his hip and covered him back up. Dwight took Ross's hand, "are you comfortable?"

Ross squeezed once in agreement.  Dwight asked, "are you in any pain?" Ross squeezed twice indicating no as he fell into the familiar communication routine.

Demelza watched them both as the silent discussion went on around her.  Dwight made small adjustments to the various tubes as he made sure nothing was pulling to ensure Ross's comfort. "Ok everything looks good.  We're going to keep you on that side for a couple hours and then we'll repeat the process to give you a new view."

Ross half-smiled around the tube in his mouth as he stretched his fingers toward Demelza's hand resting on the pillow.  She smiled fondly as she took his hand. Dwight smiled, "before you get too comfortable I'm going to need to suction out the breathing tube."

Ross frowned slightly as Dwight pulled out the ambu bag and set up the suction tube.  Demelza watched him warily, "what are you doing?"

Dwight looked up from his preparations, "you see these two numbers are increasing and this one here is dropping it's an indicator that he has mucous build up going on and as he can't cough productively while he's got the tube in his throat he can't easily clear his airway on his own.  So what I'm going to do here his take him off the ventilator give him a few breaths with the ambu bag and then I will thread this little tube down the ET-tube and suction out the mucous from the end of the tube.  I'll do this a couple times for about 10 seconds each time. In between suctioning I'll give him a few more breaths and allow him to recover so that his oxygen sats don't drop too low."

"Does it hurt?" Demelza inquired.

"It's uncomfortable but it shouldn't hurt him." Dr. Enys replied.

She nodded and moved to the side so Ross could still see her but Dr. Enys could work without issue. After ten minutes Dr. Enys was cleaning up and Ross was back on the ventilator.  He was a little restless, but beginning to calm down as Demelza took his hand. Dr. Enys smiled at Ross, "you did well.  I'm going to leave you to rest and I will be in to check on you again later."

Ross squeezed Demelza's hand and looked at her questioningly. She squeezed back and smiled wanly, "I'm fine Love, just worried about you.  That looked really uncomfortable."

He gave her a tired half-smile. She kissed his forehead, "if you're tired sleep Ross. I'm not going anywhere and you've had an exciting morning with all the moving and what not."

Ross's eyes closed slowly as he drifted off to sleep.  Demelza whipped her head toward the door as it opened again.  She was surprised to have the door open when Verity wasn't due back for another 10 minutes. There was a man standing in the doorway that she didn't know.  "Who are you?" Demelza asked. 

He took a few steps into the room to get a closer look at Ross, "I'm his cousin Francis.  Who are you? Where's Verity?"

Demelza looked at Ross to make sure he was still sleeping.  She sent Verity a quick text to let her know that Francis was here.  She looked up at Francis warily, "I'm his girlfriend Demelza.  Verity ran home to grab somethings she'll be back shortly."

"He doesn't have a girlfriend." Francis stated.

Demelza looked at him incredulously, "when was the last time you spoke to him? We've been together three months."

"You don't have a right to be here you're not family." Francis said.

Ross started to shift restlessly before his eyes snapped open. "Shh shh Love it's ok. You're ok." Demelza soothed. Ross started to relax until he caught sight of someone standing just behind Demelza.  He started trying to move to see who it was but she held him still. "It's Francis your cousin.  He came to see you.  Francis could you please move a little closer so he can see you better.  It's not good for him to stress so much."

As soon as Ross saw Francis his heart rate jumped and he started to try breathe over the ventilator. "Hey, shh Ross you need to calm down.  Don't start fighting the ventilator now" Demelza tried to soothe. Ross squeezed her hand hard trying to make sure she didn't leave. "It's ok Love.  I'm not going anywhere." She paused, "maybe you should step out until Verity get's back you're getting him too worked up.  This isn't good for him."

Francis gave her an incredulous look, "he's my family.  I can visit him if I want to you don't have any authority here."

Demelza leaned over Ross and stroked his hair, " shh shh, it's ok, just relax the vent will take over if you stop fighting it.  I'm not going anywhere Love.  No one can make me leave you." She shot Francis a withering glare before returning her attention to calming Ross ignoring Francis and his irritated glares.  

The door opened again as Verity blew in. She took one look at the strain on Demelza's face and the obvious anxiety Ross was displaying and scowled  "Francis come over here."

Francis looked at Ross and then Verity before he walked over to her. "What?  Why didn't you tell me he was sick? Why was a stranger told before me? I had to hear it from George."

Verity took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "Francis, she is not a stranger.  She is his girlfriend and she was with him when he collapsed. I didn't tell you he was sick because he needed rest and you two get into fights every bloody time you speak to each other. He can't fight you and pneumonia at the same time." Verity paused and looked at Ross and Demelza frowning as she saw Ross's anxiety wasn't completely dissipating. Verity walked over and touched his cheek, "Ross, sweetie look at me. Demelza and I are here we aren't leaving you. Francis was worried about you and came to see you. He's not going to start anything and if he does I will make sure he leaves and doesn't get to come back in." She glared over her shoulder at her brother before challenging, "you won't cause any trouble right Francis?"

He shook his head, "no I don't want to start anything I heard you were sick and wanted to see how you were."

Ross started to calm down and stopped choking against the tube in his throat his gaze never leaving Demelza. Ross tensed under Demelza and Verity's hands, his eyes rolled back as he began to shake.  Francis watched mutely as Demelza kept a hand on him and spoke quiet reassurances as Verity shot out the door to get help. Dr. Enys, Verity and a nurse came quickly through the door. Demelza moved back from Ross to stand next to Verity as Dr Enys and the nurse went to work monitoring Ross and dispensing medications. As Ross stilled Dr Enys went right to work checking him over. The nurse left the room to grab a new IV bag and his latest round of formula for his NG-tube.

Dwight looked at Verity for her permission before beginning to speak.  "Ok that was a rough one. I'm upping his anti-convulsants a little so don't be surprised if he's a little more groggy than normal while he gets used to the new dose.  He's most likely going to be out for a while, that being said everything is looking fine. I'm going to have a new chest x-ray done tomorrow morning so we can see how he's responding to the antibiotics and if things are looking better we're going to see how he does reducing the level of assistance from the ventilator.  Should he handle that well I'd like to extubate him within the next 48 hours." Dwight looked at them seriously, "he needs as much rest as he can get and he needs to be as relaxed and calm as possible.  So everyone needs to be aware and try to minimize his anxiety." 

They all nodded as they watched the nurse change out the IV and hook up his feeding tube. Once Dr Enys and the nurse left Verity looked at Francis. "Are you ok? You've never seen him have a seizure before."

Francis nodded never taking his worried gaze off of Ross, "is he ok?"

"Dr. Enys says he's fine, they need to up his meds a little, but he's ok.  He usually sleeps for a while after a seizure so this is actually pretty normal for him." Verity replied as she moved over to Ross's bedside Demelza at her side. "Demelza would you give me a hand?" She paused as she gently picked up Ross's right hand. "You see how tense his hand is? This happens sometimes when he's had a lot of seizure activity.  I wanted to show you how I rub out the muscle spasms." Verity started rubbing gentle, but firm circles from just below his elbow, down his wrist and palm working her way out to his fingers. Once she finished a pass she handed his care off to Demelza. "I'm going to step out with Francis.  We'll be back in a few minutes."

 Demelza nodded as she turned her attention to helping make Ross more comfortable. She sang quietly to herself as she rubbed his forearm and hand until the tense muscles relaxed.  Demelza was so distracted by her task that she didn't notice Ross watching her through exhausted half lidded eyes.  He eased back into sleep comforted by her attention and care.  Once she was done massaging his arm she kissed the back of his hand and settled in to wait for Verity to return or Ross to wake.

...

"Francis what's going on in that head of yours?" Verity inquired gently.

Francis blinked still looking a little shocky, "how often does he have them?"

Verity sighed, "when they first started good days were once or twice a day, bad days would be 10-15 in a day or they would last 7-10 minutes. It took them almost a year to get his meds sorted to control them." She took a deep breath, "he hasn't had an issue with it in two years unless he gets sick and then he's more prone to them."

"Are they always like that?" Francis asked.

"No he is prone to a couple different types seizures.  He most commonly has complex partial and tonic-clonic seizures, but he has run the gamut of them at least early on having atonic, tonic, absence, tonic-clonic, status and cluster seizures." Verity paused noticing the confusion on her brother's face, "ok going by that look you have no idea what I'm talking about. An atonic seizure can also be called a drop seizure as the person loses muscle tone and if they are standing they tend to fall. A tonic seizure is when their muscles contract tightly almost like a charley horse but it covers most if not all their body. The tonic-clonic seizure you just saw and it's what most people think of when they hear the word seizure. An absence seizure is when they just stare off into space and don't respond. His complex partial seizures present as excessively swallowing, lip smacking or repeated clearing of his throat. A status seizure is anything that lasts longer than 5 minutes. Last but not least cluster seizures are any type seizures that happen one right after the other with no break or recovery in between.  The reason we had to call the ambulance and bring him in this time was he had a series of seizures back to back. He went from tonic-clonic to tonic and back again in a cluster." Verity answered patiently.

Francis looked like he wanted to be sick. Verity looked sympathetically at her brother the realization that he didn't have the same experience with Ross as she did being driven home by the lost look on his face. "It really is going to be ok Francis."

 "How did you deal with it all by yourself?" Francis inquired.

Verity huffed a laugh, "I didn't have a choice.  I couldn't leave him to struggle through on his own.  He was vulnerable and unable to completely care for himself between the seizures and trying to recover from his injuries. He needed someone who would be there to help no matter what.  Elizabeth couldn't deal and you just weren't there. None of the family was willing to step up and I couldn't abandon him like that.  I don't blame anyone. None of you really understood what was going on nor did you have the patience to deal with it." Verity paused and looked at Francis, "I wasn't alone with him. Andrew helped as much as he could especially early on in Ross's recovery."

Francis looked away thinking back to his stubborn pride and jealousy that always reared it's head where his cousin was concerned.  He always let his personal feelings of inadequacy keep him from being a better person when it came to his cousin. He looked at Verity his expression darkening as he registered what Verity had said, "Andrew?"

Verity stiffened and scowled, "don't you dare start Francis. Don't you dare. You don't have to like him.  You don't have to associate with him, but I love him and your approval isn't required. He was here for me when no one else was. He helped me take care of Ross and never asked for a thing in return." Verity growled, "you weren't here. In fact you were with Elizabeth leaving Ross to fend for himself and you both left me to pick up the pieces so don't you dare look down on anyone who did what you couldn't."

"Verity he's not good enough for you." Francis started hesitantly, " I wish you could understand why I feel that way. He won't ever be able to give you the finer things in life."

Verity scoffed, "the finer things?! Jesus Christ Francis I don't give a damn about that.  He loves me. He's there for me any time I need him.  Who cares if he doesn't make what you do. You and dad and all the rest ran away when things got hard.  You abandoned us. I've been providing for myself and making sure Ross has everything he needs for the last three and a half years. The only people who haven't flinched or vanished have been Andrew, Dwight, and now Demelza, so seriously brother mine, get off your high horse and stop looking down on the people who did what you couldn't." Verity took a deep breath, "look I don't have time for this.  I need to get back in there and you need to go. I'll have Ross call you when he's feeling better."

Francis opened his mouth to protest. "Francis I'll talk to you later." Verity said firmly before she turned and walked back into Ross's room.

Verity slipped quietly back into the room. She smiled fondly as she watched Ross sleep peacefully with Demelza dozing against his arm.  It was sights like this that made her glad she chose Ross over the rest of her family.  Verity sat in her chair and settling to read her book keeping watch over two of the most important people in her life.


	3. Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long to update. Life has been more than a little crazy. For your patience I tried to give you a longer chapter.
> 
> I've also been toying with the idea of writing the backstory for this piece, but I'm not sure if there would be an interest so if anyone would like to see it feel free to let me know. Thanks for reading everyone I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 3: Comfort

Verity had sent Demelza home for a much needed break.  Ross had been moved again and was still resting quietly so it was the perfect time for Demelza to get to go home and get cleaned up, eat food that wasn't from the hospital and possibly get some actual sleep before she came back and sent Verity home for a similar break.  Ross was propped on his side facing her.  She watched as his chest rose and fell, his eyes moving under closed lids.  She couldn't help but think back to the night she got the call he'd been hurt, it was so hard to wait the week for them to be able to ship him back home for long-term treatment.  She had become his emergency contact/Power of Attorney after Ross's father Joshua passed away.  Looking at him now she could see how far he had come, but it was still so reminiscent of the first time she saw him following his initial injury.

....

Verity closed her eyes thinking back to that night, the smell of the hospital and the fear she felt waiting to see him, knowing it was bad and that they might yet lose him pushing her to see him.  The nurse had tried to prepare her as much as possible but nothing could have really made her ready to see her best friend and cousin so broken. Her breath caught in her throat as she took in the sight; his head was heavily bandaged she could only see half his face and one eye as the other was covered, there was a tube coming out of his neck helping him breathe, there were monitors and IV's everywhere. The monitor that was attached to his head so they could monitor the pressure on his brain made her sick to her stomach, it looked like a bolt was screwed into his skull.  His leg was propped up and heavily bandaged, there was a bar pinned to the outside of his thigh holding the bone together.  She moved quietly to his bedside and took his limp hand in hers being careful not to disturb the IV. Ross squeezed her hand weakly.

She gave a startled chuckle as she gently squeezed back, "it's going to be ok Love.  I'm here and I'm not going anywhere.  You just need to rest and heal."  

The nurse smiled as she watched her patient's vitals stabilize with the arrival of his cousin.  She quietly checked his IV's and monitors, "if you have any questions or need anything don't hesitate to ask."

Verity gave her a strained smile, "how's he doing?"

"He's holding steady.  His vitals have improved a little so that's a good sign."  The nurse handled Ross gently as she adjusted his positioning. "he's definitely a fighter."

....

Verity shook her head chasing away the ghosts of the past as she returned her focus to the present.  Ross's eyes were open and he was watching her silently.  She smiled fondly as she took his hand and gently brushed a raven curl back behind his ear, "hey Love are you doing ok?"

Ross squeezed her hand and blinked once to confirm his yes.  He brushed his thumb against the back of her hand and looked questioningly to the side.

Verity chuckled quietly, "I sent her home to get cleaned up and get some rest.  She'll be back this evening."

Ross nodded slightly.  He blinked sluggishly and tried to lick his lips. She gently wiped the corner of his mouth. He half-smiled and squeezed her hand. She grinned as she let his hand go long enough to grab his notebook out of her purse.  Carrying the small notebook in her purse was a habit that that was leftover from the early days of his first hospital stay. She always kept it so she could take notes on any changes in his care, questions that she wanted answered or for him to be able to write notes when he couldn't talk.

 _You need a break too Verity. You look exhausted._ Ross wrote shakily.

Verity smiled and kissed his forehead, "I'm going home tonight when Demelza gets back.  Don't worry about me sweetie I know my limits."

They both looked up as the door opened and Dr Enys came in. " I have good news your x-rays show some improvement in the infection.  We're going to reduce the amount of help you're getting from the ventilator and see how that goes if you keep doing this well we can see about extubating you before this evening."

Verity smiled as Dwight adjusted the settings and left them to wait and see how he'd do with the change.  Ross still seemed to be holding his own regardless of the change which made Verity happy.  She went back to reading to Ross, his hand holding hers loosely as he listened to her.  After a half hour Ross's hand spasmed in hers and he winced around the breathing tube. She set her book down and watched him quickly looking at the monitors to make sure nothing was amiss. She saw nothing that concerned her there so she started looking Ross over and noticed the muscles of his right hand and arm were spasming.  Verity carefully sat on his bed in front of his stomach before gently taking his right hand in hers rubbing out and stretching the cramping muscles in an all too familiar routine.  He relaxed as Verity got his arm to stop cramping.

Verity ran gentle fingers through his hair, " does that feel better?"

Ross gave her a sleepy half-smile. She grinned, "I'll take that as a yes."

 Ross shifted restlessly as Verity looked at him quizzically, "do you want off your side?"

Ross blinked once. Verity nodded, "is your hip bothering you?"

He blinked again. She looked at the clock, " ok let's get you on your back.  Don't forget let me do the work."

Ross rolled his eyes exasperatedly at her as she moved around the bed behind him.  Verity gave him a light swat on his arm as she checked the various tubes and monitors making sure nothing was tangled and that there was enough slack to safely move him.  "Don't be a brat Ross I don't want you to accidentally hurt or choke yourself." 

Once she was sure she could move him to his back without pulling on anything she moved the pillows out from behind him as she carefully rolled him over and took the pillow off of his arm.  She quickly moved the blankets  and pulled the pillow from between his knees before covering him back up.  Ross was half asleep by the time she had him settled. "Are you comfortable?"

Ross blinked once sleepily as he reached for her hand. She smiled, "ok sweetie now that you're comfortable sleep. I'm not going anywhere."

It was 3 o'clock when Dr Enys came in to check Ross over and decide whether or not to take him off the ventilator.  Ross was more alert and getting restless as Dwight finished checking him over. "So Ross what do you think about getting that tube out?"

Ross moved his hand toward the ET-tube as Dwight kept him from grabbing it. "You don't have to pull it out. I'm going to take care of that for you.  Ok the ET-tube is coming out, but the NG-tube is staying put until I know you can eat and keep it down.  Also you're going to be on supplemental oxygen with regular nebulizer treatments for the next 24 hours. Do you understand?"

Ross nodded slightly as he forced himself to relax while Dr Enys got ready to extubate him. "Ok I'm going to suction you and then when I tell you take a deep breath and blow out as hard as you can."

Ross blinked and gripped Verity's hand.  He hated this part, but it was necessary to get the tube out. She squeezed his hand reassuringly, "it'll be over in a little bit and you will have a nice surprise for Demelza when she gets back."

 "Alright Ross take a deep breath and blow." Dr Enys directed as he pulled the tube out.

Ross had a coughing fit as the tube came out.  Dr Enys held the oxygen mask over his mouth and nose as he encouraged Ross to try taking slow deep breaths.  Verity squeezed Ross's hand reassuringly. He clung to Verity's hand as his stats fluctuated as he fought to get his breathing back under control. Dr Enys secured the oxygen mask  and kept a close eye on his patient. Verity was running gentle fingers through Ross's hair murmuring quiet reassurances as his vitals started to level out. Ross's eyes never left Verity as he focused on the person who had been his rock through everything.

Verity squeezed his hand and smiled, "feeling better?"

Ross gave her a half-smile as he mumbled, "yeah.  I'm thirsty."

Dr Enys grabbed a cup with ice chips and gave it to Verity, "I don't want him drinking just yet but you can start with these.  You know the drill."

Verity smirked, "yeah we know the drill. He hates it, but we know."

Verity moved the mask away so she could spoon a little of the ice into his mouth."

Ross was almost strangely compliant with everything.  He sucked on the ice a little before swallowing.  Verity replaced the mask as Ross slurred, "feel fny."

Verity looked at Dwight as he started to check Ross over, "Ross what feels funny?"

Ross didn't respond as he listed a little to his right. His left hand trembled as he made a choking noise in the back of his throat.

Dwight lay the head of his bed down and started checking his pupil response. Ross started to tense under Dr Enys' hands.  Dwight rolled him on his side as he began to seize violently. Verity helped keep him on his side as the seizure tore at Ross. Dwight pulled the mask off as he saw vomit sliding down Ross's cheek.  He grabbed a syringe and pulled a dose of an anticonvulsant before injecting it into the IV.  Fortunately Ross stilled as the medication took effect. Dwight immediately went to work suctioning out his mouth, checking reflexes and his pupil response.  Ross went from actively seizing to unconsciousness without waking. "Verity have you noticed him contracting his right arm like this recently?"

Verity looked at Ross's arm seeing his wrist bent and hand contracted into a tight fist.  "He hasn't been this bad in more than a year, but I have noticed he's had some spasticity since the uptick in seizure activity the last few days."

Dwight nodded, "ok I want to order a splint for his wrist and hand to help keep him from contracting and I want to send him down for an MRI so we can make sure there's nothing else going on."

Verity nodded as she carefully rubbed Ross's contracted right arm, "how long do you think it will be before you take him for the MRI?"

"I'm going to go put in the order and the come back with the splint.  I'm hoping to get him in within the hour." Dwight answered.

She nodded as she returned her focus back to Ross's arm.  Verity hummed quietly as she worked to get the tensed muscles to release.  Ross was starting to stir when Dwight returned with the splint. Verity took the splint and started to slide it under his hand. She strapped it to his forearm as she straightened his fingers and did the Velcro strap across them to keep them in a relaxed position.  Ross gave a quiet moan as he tried to take his arm away from Verity before she was finished securing the brace. Verity finished quickly and put his right hand back on the bed. Ross pulled it up against his chest as he made an irritated face.

Verity smiled and stroked his cheek, "hey sweetie, open your eyes for me."

Ross moved restlessly before he opened his eyes looking around disoriented. Verity gently rubbed his arm, "Ross it's ok.  You're in the hospital.  You just had a seizure, but you're doing ok."

Ross licked his lips and whispered, "what's wrong with my arm?"

"Dr Enys ordered a splint for your wrist because how spastic you're arm has been with all the seizures." Verity answered.  "They want to take you down for an MRI to make sure nothing else is causing the increase in seizures and the spasticity in your right arm."

Ross nodded and looked at Dr Enys, "when's the scan Dwight?"

"We're going to take you down now and should have you back in your room within the hour." Dwight replied. "Once the MRI is done I'm going to recheck you over and make sure we aren't missing anything."

Ross nodded, "ok.  Verity make sure you take a break while they're holding me hostage."

She chuckled and kissed his forehead. "Will do.  Behave and take it easy on them. I'll be here when you get back."

....

While Ross was out for tests Verity went to get a drink and something to eat in the Cafeteria.  While she was eating she sent Demelza a text letting her know that Ross was having some tests run so he wouldn't be back in his room for an hour.  Demelza messaged her back to make sure nothing was seriously wrong to which Verity told her he'd had another seizure and was having spasticity issues, but nothing serious was going on the tests were just a precaution.  Demelza sent Verity a relieved response and let her know that she would be back at the hospital by 5:30.

Verity smiled as she saw Dwight checking Ross over when she got back, "so what's the word?"

Dwight smiled, "the scan looked good, all his reflexes and motor skills are back to normal, and so far no more seizures.  Oh and he's been switched to the nasal cannula instead of the mask."

Verity moved over to his bedside and sat back down. " All in all he's doing really well.  I want him to keep the brace on tonight and we'll double check the spasticity tomorrow.  I'll be back to check on him before I head out tonight. " Dwight explained.

Verity nodded, "I'm going to be going home to get some rest tonight.  Demelza's going to be staying with him and I'll be back in the morning."

"I'm glad you're going to get some actual rest Verity, you've been here all day, everyday since he was admitted, 4 days ago." Dwight observed.

Shortly after Dwight left Demelza arrived.  She broke into a huge grin to see Ross sitting up in bed sleeping without the ventilator tube.  "I see he had a good day." 

Verity smiled, "yes he did aside from the seizure."  Verity paused, "before I head out, he needs to leave the oxygen on and the brace he has on his hand needs to stay no matter how pissy he gets about it.  He hates it but it's helping to prevent the severe spasms he was having earlier today."

Demelza chuckled, "Ok I can make sure he does that.  How are you feeling?"

Verity gave Demelza a hug, "sweetie I'm exhausted.  It was a pretty good day, but I'm in serious need of a good night's sleep."

Demelza hugged her back, "go home, spend some time with Andrew and get some sleep.  I feel like a new person after getting a full 8 hours."

Verity laughed, "you can call me if you need me for anything, otherwise I will see you tomorrow." Vertity walked back over to Ross gently brushing a curl out of his eyes before kissing his forehead.  Ross opened his eyes and smiled at her sleepily, "Demelza's back so I'm going to go home for the night. I'll be back in the morning."

Ross nodded, "thanks for being here Ver.  Get some rest."

Demelza gave Verity another hug as she wished her a good night.  After Verity left Ross turned a tired gaze to Demelza as he reached out his hand toward her, "come here Love I missed you."

Demelza stepped over to Ross's bed.  He wrapped his arm around her making sure not to pull out his IV.  She sat on the side of his bed where he pulled her. Demelza leaned over and kissed him softly. "I missed you too.  How are you feeling?"

"I'm doing ok.  A little sore.  I can't wait to go home."  Ross answered as he shifted over in bed.  "Come here next to me.  I want to hold you."

Demelza carefully crawled up next to Ross in the bed.  He wrapped his arm around her as he started to drift back to sleep happy to have her back with him.


	4. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this update took so long. Life has been nuts and I just haven't had time to write.

Chapter 4: Home

After a week and a half Ross was more than ready to go home, so when Dwight came into his room with his walking papers Ross was over the moon. 

"Ok Ross you are good to go.  You have a follow-up appointment with me next week.  Keep taking your antibiotics and both anticonvulsants.  If you're having spasticity issues please use your brace, if it gets worse you need to call and we'll adjust your meds as needed." Dr. Enys stated.

Ross sighed, "how long do I have to keep taking the second anticonvulsant?  It makes me really tired."

"I want you seizure free for 6 weeks before we even think about tapering off the second med." Dwight paused as he observed Ross, who looked like he was ready to protest. "It's not up for debate Ross we need to get your epilepsy stable again and it's not quite there yet."

Ross huffed, "ok Dwight I'll go with it, but the fatigue is killing me."

"If the seizures haven't stopped by your follow up we may need to adjust your meds again.  That could mean trying a different medication or upping the dose again.  Also if you're still having problems with severe spasticity we may need to put you back on the Baclofen." Dwight explained as he looked between Ross and Verity.

Verity sighed as Ross looked upset. "I don't want to go back on the Baclofen.  I hate the side effects."

Verity squeezed Ross's hand thinking how she didn't want him back on it either, especially with the risk of it exacerbating his seizures, but it was one of the few muscle relaxers that worked for him.  "It'll be ok Ross.  Hopefully we can get the spasticity in check and it won't be needed."

Ross glanced at Verity, "back to doing the stretches and PT at home?"

She smiled, "yes, that's a good idea, also Dwight is right, don't try to avoid your splint.  If you need it use it. I know you hate it but it's been very helpful in the past."

Ross sighed, "It's fine.  I just want to get back to normal or at least my normal."

Dr Enys handed Verity the paperwork and wished them all well as they headed out.

Demelza took Ross's hand as they left the hospital and squeezed it reassuringly.  He gave her a half-hearted smile as he remained lost in his own thoughts.  Verity went ahead of them to pull the car around.  Demelza gently pulled Ross to a stop, "it's going to be ok Ross.  I need you to believe that."

Ross gave her a small smile, "I know it's going to be ok, but we're going to need to talk about everything when we get home."

Demelza nodded quietly as they continued to the car.

The drive home was quiet each of them lost in their own thoughts.  Verity parked the car and followed them into the apartment.  Demelza chewed nervously on her lip while they hung up their coats. Verity gave her a reassuring smile as they moved to the living room.

Ross stood stiffly in the doorway, "I want to take a shower."

Verity nodded, "ok just remember to leave the door open."

Ross scowled at her, " I'm not a child Verity.  I can take a shower without supervision."

Verity shot him a reproachful look as she walked over to him, "I am well aware that you are not a child Ross, but you have not gone a day without a seizure in the last week.  Most days you are having at least two of them."  She paused as she placed her hand comfortingly on his arm. "I'm looking out for your safety, not trying to take away your privacy.  You can take the shower by yourself, but I need to be able to hear if there's a problem."

Ross's shoulders slumped as he nodded, "I'm sorry Ver.  It's not your fault I just don't want to go backward.  I..."

Verity pulled him into a firm hug as she whispered in his ear. "I know this sucks sweetie.  It's going to be ok you just need time."  She rested her forehead against his, "this isn't like before.  It's just a bump in the road."

Demelza watched their exchange silently as she continued to worry her lip with her teeth  She could see they were both a little off balance and she just didn't have the information to understand fully their current states of mind.  Ross was visibly upset and she wished she had the words to make him feel better, but watching them she realized there was a lot she didn't know about this situation, so she would wait until they were ready to talk.

Verity gently kissed his forehead, "go take your shower it will help you feel better."

Ross gave her a small smile, "yeah.  When I'm done will you help me with my brace?"

Verity smiled fondly, "of course."

As Ross headed for his bedroom Verity turned her attention to Demelza suspecting she may be feeling a little left out.  Verity gave Demelza a sympathetic smile, "so I'm sure you're feeling a little lost?"

Demelza gave her a nervous half-smile, "I feel like I'm missing something critical to navigating this situation."  Demelza paused, "you're both upset to varying degrees by what's happening, but I don't know why he's as upset as he is right now and I don't know how to help."

Verity wrapped a comforting arm around Demelza's shoulders as she lead them to the couch. "It all goes back to his initial injury and how helpless he felt."  Verity smirked, "I'm sure you know how fiercely independent Ross is.  He doesn't do helpless well and for more than two years he needed a lot more help than he was even remotely comfortable with.  He's terrified of ending up like that again."

Demelza nodded looking thoughtful, "I figured everything goes back to that, but his reaction, even snapping at you was stronger than seems warranted for this current situation."

Verity sighed as she opened her photos on her cell phone. "I have his permission to show you some of the pictures and videos we took during during his recovery.  He wants to be the one to talk to you about his experiences, but there are things especially early on that he doesn't remember so he wanted me to start explaining things and he'll jump in when he's ready."

Demelza nodded and shifted her attention to Verity's phone. "Demelza I'm going to be honest some of these are hard to look at, but you need to see how far he's come. Sometimes I think he needs to be reminded how far he's come too." 

Verity opened the folder that had all her pictures from his initial hospitalization. She clicked on the first photo that she took the same day she saw Ross for the first time. Demelza's breath caught in her throat as she looked at the image.  She fought to breathe evenly as she looked at the picture Ross was propped up in bed, his head heavily bandaged, a sensor coming out of his head.  His right eye was closed while the left one was buried under bandages.  He had a neck brace  around his neck as well as a tube coming out of his neck hooked to the ventilator hose.  His left arm was casted and his left leg was heavily bandaged and had a bar running along his thigh.  There were wires and tubes everywhere.  If Verity hadn't told her that the picture was Ross she wouldn't have been able to tell.  Demelza blinked away tears as she looked back to Verity, "this doesn't look minor.  I would struggle to tell you who that was if I didn't know before seeing the photo."

 Verity squeezed Demelza's hand, "it wasn't a minor injury.  I know he gives the impression that it was nothing, but it's been a serious trial for him.  He had to relearn everything and it took more than two years for him to recover to this point." Verity took a deep breath, "I think he hides most of his struggles even now because he doesn't want to scare or burden anyone.  I see them but I know his tells.  I walked this road with him so I know what to look for.  I don't want you to think that he doesn't trust you, because he does.  He wouldn't let me show you any of these things if he didn't."

Demelza nodded looking thoughtful, "he's afraid if I know everything I'll run away." The _like Elizabeth did_ left hanging silently in the air between them. "I want to know what happened not so I can judge him or to have an excuse to run away, but so I can understand him better.  I want to be here.  I love him and I want to support him. He doesn't need to shelter me I can handle this."

Verity gave her a soft smile, "well then let's continue. This first video is three weeks after the picture you saw.  It's the first time we got him out of bed.  He was still being weaned from the medication that was keeping him in a drug induced coma so he's not very alert in this one."

Demelza watched as a team of people moved Ross from his bed to a wheelchair.  The neck brace was gone but the tracheotomy tube and ventilator hose were still there. He had traded the bandages all over his head for a helmet.  She was watching intently, trying to understand the strange combination of muscle tension and weakness that she observed as they  buckled him into the chair. She noted not only the lap belt but the shoulder straps to help keep him secure and upright. She watched as they placed braces on his lower legs to keep his feet from pointing down. She could see the angry red line running down the left side of his face and the bruises that were fading along his jaw. Once they were sure he was secured the medical staff moved away so Verity could get closer to him to help calm him down. The cast on his left arm was replaced with a soft removable brace but his right arm was bent stiffly at the wrist and contracted up against his chest. His head kept listing down and to the right as he couldn't hold it up very well. Demelza watched them change his headrest for one with side support to help him keep his head up.  It did help but his head still listed towards his right. She smiled as Verity gently stroked his cheek before she carefully wiped his mouth. She observed Verity continue to stroke his cheek and encourage him to try and pick his head up and open his eyes. Ross shakily turned his head towards her voice as he struggled to open his eyes.  She couldn't help but grin along with Verity as his eyes slit open and he tried to reach for Verity spastically with his left arm.  Verity reached out and took his hand as she spoke quietly to him. He kept watching her and moving his mouth like he was trying to talk to her.

Demelza looked at Verity, "was he having seizures at this point?"

Verity shook her head, "no he wasn't having seizures yet.  They had to remove a piece of his skull to relieve the extreme pressure on his brain and at this point they hadn't replaced the bone flap so the helmet was to protect his brain when he was out of bed."

Demelza nodded, "was he trying to talk to you at the end there?"

Verity smiled fondly, "yeah he kept trying to mouth words, but he couldn't vocalize due to the type of trache he had.  He wasn't able to swallow very well at this point and you can see how limited his motor control was.  He started an intensive rehab program two days after this video was taken."

Demelza looked at Verity, "he really has come so far.  Aside from the random stiffness he's had since we've been together I don't see a lot of lingering effects."

Verity gave her a soft smile, "yes and no.  He does have some stiffness or tone issues and as you now know the epilepsy, but he also occasionally has severe migraines and bouts of transient aphasia that can accompany his migraines as well as his seizures."  Verity paused noting Demelza's curious look before continuing, "for Ross that means he has trouble speaking and sometimes understanding people speaking to him.  It will come on without warning and leave just as suddenly. It can be scary to watch, but the best thing anyone can do if it happens is stay calm and get him laying down, because there is no way to tell if he's having a sudden migraine or if it's a prelude to a seizure."

Demelza nodded, "ok I can see where that would be terrifying, but it's good to know what to look out for.  Things are a lot less scary when I know a little about what to expect."

Verity looked up at the sound of Ross coming down the hall. "Feel better?"

Ross nodded as he handed Verity the brace. She went to work stretching his hand and wrist before securing the brace in place.  Ross sat on the floor in between them his head resting against Verity's leg.  She ran gentle fingers through his hair trying to soothe his anxiety as much as she could.  Demelza was a little sad that he seemed to be pulling away as if waiting for her to run now that she knew things weren't perfect.  Ross watched Demelza warily as she looked back calmly and steadily.  "Are you ok Ross?" She asked quietly.

Ross nodded and mumbled, " 'm fine just t-t-tired."

Verity carefully tilted his head to make him look at her, "Ross are you dizzy?"

He nodded as he tried to focus on her. Ross suddenly slumped to the right against her leg as she quickly steadied him. Demelza looked nervously at Verity, "what's going on?"

Verity glanced at Demelza, "he's having an atonic seizure. He's alright, they don't usually last more than a few seconds."  Ross started to tense up and come around as Verity finished answering Demelza.

 She gently stroked his cheek, "hey sweetie are you with us?"

Ross blinked sluggishly as he tried to focus on Verity. "Yeah 'm with you." Ross answered hoarsely.

Demelza went to answer the knock at the door as Verity continued to engage Ross. Andrew smiled as she opened the door.  Demelza gave a relieved smile, "hi Andrew come in.  They're in the living room."

"How's everything going?" Andrew inquired.

 "He's tired and just had a seizure, but things are ok." Demelza replied.

They both smiled watching Verity and Ross.  He was leaning into her as she continued to quietly talk to him.  Ross turned his head towards the sound of Demelza and Andrew in the hall. He gave a half-smile and reached for Demelza.  She knelt next to him and took the offered hand. She kissed his forehead, "we've got company."

Ross looked over her shoulder, "hey Andrew.  What brings you buy?"

Andrew chuckled, "just wanted to check on you and check in with Verity to see what the plan is."

 Ross gave him a tired smile, "I'm ok."

Verity ran gentle fingers through Ross's hair, "I'm going to stay here tonight just to make sure everyone gets settled."

Ross smiled before looking at Andrew, "you can stay too if you want."

Andrew smiled, "I don't have to work tonight or tomorrow so I will take you up on that."

Verity grinned at Andrew before shifting her attention back to Ross, "do you want to go lay down?'

Ross nodded before she asked, "do you need help getting to your room?"

Ross  slurred, "ssit mmmet."

Andrew quickly helped Verity lay Ross down on his side.  He took Ross's left hand, "Ross can you squeeze my hand?" Ross squeezed it weakly. "Good, Ross are you dizzy?" He squeezed his hand again. "Does your head hurt?" He squeezed Andrew's hand. "Does it feel like a migraine?" Ross squeezed again weakly.  Andrew pulled out his penlight and checked Ross's pupil response as he continued to assess him.  Ross coughed weakly before he started to gag. Andrew rolled him slightly forward so he wouldn't choke on the vomit.

Verity looked at Demelza, "can you grab a damp rag from the kitchen. " She turned to Andrew, "is it a migraine or should we take him back to the hospital?"

"It's a migraine Ver.  I want to get him moved to his room and then get his meds in him.  Has he taken his anti-convulsants today?" Andrew responded.

"He had his first dose but he's due for his second.  His meds are still in the bathroom." Verity answered.

Demelza came back and handed Verity the rag, "can I help with anything?"

Verity asked, "can you help Andrew?" She paused to look at Andrew, "I'm going to open his bedroom door and make sure his bed is ready then I'll get his meds together.  Andrew can you manage him?"

"Yeah I can carry him to his room once we've got him cleaned up." Andrew answered.

Demelza went to work cleaning him up as Andrew reassured Ross and walked him through their plan.  When Demelza was finished Andrew carefully picked Ross up and carried him to his bed.  Demelza watched quietly from the doorway as Verity and Andrew made short work of settling Ross.  After he was settled Andrew took the various vials and syringes from Verity.  He double checked the dosages and loaded the syringes.

"Are you going to want to start an IV?" Verity inquired.

"Can he drink safely when he has these types of migraines?" Andrew questioned.

Verity shook her head, "he struggles with swallowing if the hemiparesis sets in."

Andrew nodded, "can you grab me the IV supplies?"

Verity squeezed Demelza's arm reassuringly as she came back with the supplies.

"OK Ross you're going to feel a pinch." Andrew explained as he inserted the IV port.  He quickly set up the line.  Once the IV was set he injected his meds into the port. "Alright you should start feeling better shortly."

Ross blinked sluggishly, before he slurred, "tthanks 'ndrew."

Andrew smiled, "no problem Ross, I'm just glad your speech is coming back online."

Ross nodded as he started to drift to sleep.  Verity kissed his forehead, "sleep well Love."

 Demelza curled up next to Ross running gentle fingers through his hair.  Ross smiled sleepily at her as Andrew and Verity left the room.  He rested his hand shakily against hers, "lllov yyyou 'melza."

She kissed him softly, "I love you too, so much.  Now rest Love I'm not going anywhere."

Ross slowly drifted off to sleep his meds pulling him under.  Demelza soon followed all the stress finally catching up to her.

Demelza woke a couple hours later to Ross watching her sleepily. She grinned, "how are you feeling?"

Ross smiled, "better. I just have a slight headache."

Demelza leaned over and kissed him, "glad you're feeling better.  You had us a little worried for a bit."

Ross frowned slightly, "sorry I keep scaring you."

Demelza stroked his cheek, "hey it's OK.  You haven't talked to me about any of the possible medical needs you have and that's alright.  I wish you would have trusted me, but I know you've been burned before and that makes you cautious."

Ross bit his lip, "I wanted to tell you, but things were going well and I haven't had any issues in six months.  So I kept putting off saying anything."

Demelza gave him a fond smile, "you were hoping things would keep going this way and you wouldn't have to say anything."

Ross sighed, "it's been one challenge after another and then things were finally starting to get back to normal and you came along and for the first time in a long time I thought a normal happy family life could be possible." He paused, "I love you and I didn't want to worry you when things were fine."

Demelza kissed him softly, "Ross I love you and that means I take the easy with the hard. So for better or worse I'm with you until you want me to go." 

"You're sure you don't want an out? I've blindsided you with so many things in the last two weeks.  All of them paint a different picture of life with me than the one I gave you." Ross swallowed, "Demelza I wouldn't blame you for wanting to leave."

Demelza turned his face toward her, "Ross Poldark, I told you I love you.  For better or worse I love you and I WANT to be here." Demelza continued fiercely, "I am NOT Elizabeth.  I am NOT a wilting flower. I want to be your partner.  I want us to love, protect and support each other through whatever comes our way." Demelza smiled sadly, "Ross I don't need perfection or even easy, I just need you to be honest with me."

"Demelza you don't know what you're signing on for." Ross protested.

Demelza arched an eyebrow, "I watched you collapse and have a seizure with no warning.  I sat by your hospital bed for days hoping you would get better.  I've seen so many things with you in the last week I've never seen before.  The only things that keep going through my head are thank God Verity was here because I would have no idea how to help you and thank God Verity has been explaining things to me as they come up." Demelza paused and took a deep breath, "Ross the only thing that scared me about what was happening was that I could have been alone with you and things would have been worse because I don't know how to help you or what to look out for.  I'm not afraid of you or repulsed by you. I'm afraid something will happen and I won't know what to do and that you will pay the price for it."

Ross reached out and gently wiped away the tear that slid silently down her cheek. "God, what did I do to deserve you?  I'm sorry that I was too scared to share this with you. I'm sorry you had to deal with all this and that you didn't know what you needed to help. I don't know how to make this up to you other than to tell you I won't keep any more secrets and that no subjects are off the table for questions or discussion."

Demelza gave him a watery smile, "will you stop apologizing.  I appreciate how sorry you are and I forgave you right after you surprised me and collapsed.  I want to know everything you want to share with me, but right now I want to know what happened today."

"Well I had an atonic seizure and then got hit with a type of migraine called a sporadic hemiplegic migraine. This is the fourth one I've ever had. They started about six months after my injury.  I don't have them often in fact this is the first one I've had in a year and a half.  I was actually hoping they might be gone. They present with symptoms that can look like a stroke.  I got lucky that my meds stopped it before the hemiparesis could set in.  The worst one I had lasted for 12 hours and my left side which was my functional side was almost completely paralysed.  It scared the shit out of me because I didn't understand what was going on." Ross answered. He huffed a chuckle, "I'm sure it didn't help that I was still coming off a lot of the heavier medications and was recovering from the surgery to replace the piece of bone they had removed from my skull.  Most of those days are blurry at best. I spent the first few months I was waking up confused and scared because I didn't really understand what had happened and what was going on. It took a while for my brain to get back online."

Demelza nodded, "I'd have been scared if it was me too.  Does it still scare you when you have one of these migraines or a seizure?"

Ross sat up against the headboard of his bed, "with the seizures it's like my brain just shorts out and I don't really notice or register anything until it's over, but it's always confusing and a little scary as I start to become aware.  With the migraine like I had today it's hard because sometimes I understand what's going on and what people are saying and sometimes I don't. I have trouble with aphasia due to the type of migraine and it consistently scrambles my ability to speak, so that is always a little frightening and frustrating to me."

Demelza leaned against Ross's chest and listened to his heart beat, "is there anything that helps you feel better?"

Ross let out a sigh and ran his fingers through her hair, "well it helps when people talk to me and explain what's going on.  Verity has found that rubbing my arm or touching me in some generally comforting way helps keep me calm, but mainly I like anything that lets me know I'm not alone."

Demelza smiled, "I can definitely do that." She paused biting her lip between her teeth, "Ross I don't want to overstep, but would it be OK with you if I worked with Andrew and Verity to learn how to better help you when you need it?  I just want to make sure I know what to do if we're alone and there's an issue."

Ross smiled fondly, "yeah I'm ok with that." He kissed the top of her head, "I won't say I'm not surprised that you want to learn about all this, because I don't want to lie to you, but thank you for wanting to help."

Demelza tipped her head back to look at him, "it's not a problem Ross I need to know what to do since I'm not going anywhere."

Ross squeezed her tightly and kissed her softly, "I love you."

Demelza kissed him back, "I love you too. We can make it through this Love don't ever forget that."

They continued to talk and cuddle for a while.  Ross found himself in awe of her desire to help and the ferocity that she cared for him. For the first time since Elizabeth he couldn't help but hope that he finally found a real partner.  As he held her close he realized he could not imagine a life without her by his side and if he was honest with himself that thought filled him with a joy and peace he had never known, not even with Elizabeth.  She was steady as a rock, warm and loving in a way he never thought he'd experience. She had now seen him at his most vulnerable and didn't waver or flinch.  She stayed by his side and loved him even when she was terrified.  She walked with him through his latest setback with care and devotion, and if he had his way they would always walk together.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This story came out of nowhere. I'm supposed to be working on finishing a completely different work right now, but this story keeps drowning out the other one in my head. I hope everyone enjoys it. Any and or all mistakes are my own. Thank you for reading.


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